i think my tv is drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
