Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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