I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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