i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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