i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
50% drunk capacity currently
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
