Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
