No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
