We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
