you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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