with your own penis?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
