Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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