spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
