Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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