He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Someone shattered a urinal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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