she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
