ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
