some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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