I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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