I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize