i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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