She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
