your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
