I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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