and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
