my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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