Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize