I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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