Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
