Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
