I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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