my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My vagina just clenched in fear
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
