I'm jealous of your bromance
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
