So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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