I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he shaved USA in his pubs
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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