fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
