You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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