People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you bring me the toilet please
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We are all done wearing pants today
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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