Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
