You work out of a Hotel?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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