I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
