New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
