Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
