so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
