Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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