Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
