everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
