Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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