No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
