I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
