so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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