I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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