butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
