i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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