i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
