You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
