went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I party with great urgency now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
