I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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