i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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