idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
