i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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