So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
