oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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