There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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