Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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