you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
