i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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