I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this beer tastes like vomit already
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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