i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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