She said her name was "party"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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