Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
